My Oma

     It's hard to really think that she is gone. For the longest time I thought that she was invincible and could take on anything sadly my beliefs weren't enough. She was a big part of my life and when I was little she would take care of me while my parents were at work. We spent a lot of quality time together and got to grow very close. With the good comes the bad, and since I was very close to her it felt like a dagger slowly stabbing me the last few years. To come to her side every time I visited and her not remembering  who I was, even though I visited often. She was always very proud when I told her I was a Leise, "Oh my you're so tall for a Leise and a blonde, do you play any sports?" (Oma). Every time she asked I smiled and told her all about what sport I was in at the time. This went on for about a year until she passed and I was fortunate enough to carry the casket with my dad and his brothers, but part of me felt like I shouldn't have been carrying it because she was grandma, I felt as if I was taking away the bond that my dad and his brothers should have been having carrying the casket.

    My grandpa died from brain cancer when I was in seventh grade so this wasn't my first time dealing with death close to the family. Back then I was scared to see him in his last months and to this day I'm not really sure why. Maybe it's because I didn't understand what was happing to him or the fact that he played a huge role in my life and his role was coming to an end. I look back and regret not seeing him, so I made sure to make the time for my grandma and I think because of it I'm handling the death fairly well. Im extremely greatful for the people I do have on this earth and I hope that my family in heaven is looking down proud.